Did you ever get one of those notes in grade school that said, “Do you like me? Yes or No? Circle one.”

No? Well, me either.

For the sake of this article, let’s pretend both of us did.

When you’re in grade school, love is a simple thing. You like me. I like you. There! We’re together.

It’s not complicated. There are no other considerations. Love is new, exciting, a bit confusing, and short-lived. The grade school relationship lasts about a week or so. Then love is destroyed when one of you farts.

Gas… really ruins a grade school relationship.

It’s my opinion people of today’s world would like to fall back in love with romantic love but don’t believe it exists anymore. The little grade school notes that once made it simple, no longer exist.

Sooner or later, that marriage will fail.

Sooner or later, someone else new will come along.

Sooner or later, someone new becomes someone old.

A sign of this anti-romantic feeling can be seen in the romance book industry. The industry has always been criticized. It’s seen as a fluff genre. Some authors think writing romance is easy or doesn’t require a lot of thought.

From what I have seen, as of late, this industry is coming under even more scrutiny as critics state romance books give women (who are the main consumers) unrealistic ideas of love and romance.

The bigger question is why does a fantasy telling of happily ever after garner such visceral reaction?

There are several possible reasons:

• Romantic love between men and women has been overexaggerated. In love stories, this rose-colored view of the emotion supersedes all else. It conquers all foes, all problems, and binds our happy couple together forever.
  
• Monogamy seems to be great in theory, but a hassle in real life. As Michael Jackson said, “It’s the falling in love that’s making me high. It’s the being in love that makes me cry. Trading in the passion for the taste of pain. It’s only going to happen again.”
  
• Commitment to a relationship is hard when two imperfect people are swearing undying love to each other. How can I stay committed when the other person has all these flaws? Not just one… but a lot!
  
• Intimate relations are confused as a sign of romantic love as opposed to an outpouring from it. Yet, you don’t have to be in love to engage in them.

But I believe the biggest reason for our disillusionment is that romantic love has been separated from the giver of love — The Lord.

In I John 4:7-8 it reads: “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

How can we know true romantic love when it’s separated from the Lord? How can we explore its depths when we’ve tried our best to fill the endless well from where it came? I say try because the Lord’s love is bottomless.

Romantic love isn’t blind. It isn’t a free-for-all. It’s not unconditional – this last part I can speak to in a simple illustration. A man emotionally, physically, or mentally abusing a woman and vice versa, isn’t a sign of love.

If God is love, then let’s follow the next step: love brings about certain traits. In Galatians 5:22-23, it says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,…”

Notice how the first fruit of the Spirit is love. After that comes joy. Notice it doesn’t state happiness. Happiness is a temporary state. Joy is an internal state sustained by love.

If you go down the list, you’ll see each fruit builds on the other. From joy, you have peace, longsuffering, gentleness, etc. It all stems from love, and God is love.

A fascinating aspect of the Lord is His ability to give glimpses of His love for us in many ways. But for the purpose of this article, we’re focusing on romantic love between men and women.

Romantic love is not stagnant. It doesn’t stay in the constant hyper stage of what’s called puppy love. Where you just can’t wait to see each other or be with one another. I think this stage is something we wish to hold onto forever.

The problem with the stage is that excitement can’t be eternally maintained. It fizzes away, so you constantly need something to keep the buzz there.

Just like our relationship with Christ, romantic love changes and grows, transforming into something that begins to mimic the bottomless depths of God’s love.

There’s a hymn I learned recently that says, “The Longer I Serve Him, the Sweeter He Grows.”

I can’t help but think of this in the same way.

Also, 1 John 4:16 says, “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”

Understanding that God is love and that shows in how we act towards each other. Previously, I mentioned the possible reason why people are disillusioned. Now, let’s flip it.

Romantic love is real. It exists for the following reason:

• Romantic love rooted in God, ‘bears all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things”. Thus, it can’t be overexaggerated as the Spirit of God lives in us who are continually made new in Him. As the relationship matures, assaulted from external forces or internal, it holds up against the tides of time and circumstance.
  
• Monogamy shows true commitment. You’re not constantly looking for the excitement of a new love. Rather, you rest in the comfort of a love that stands the test of time. As we weather the storms of life, we are both committed to being the backbone and support for each other.
  
• Commitment is maintained because we are in this together regardless of our flaws and imperfections. Mind you, it’s still conditional (you don’t want to put yourself in unhealthy situations) but those flaws don’t stop the growth of romantic love.
  
• Intimate relations then is a product of this. In Proverbs 5:18-19, the preacher says, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth… let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”

In our relationships with our husbands and wives, we reflect in a small way, the love the Lord has for us. That’s why romantic love exists. That’s why it’s real.

Once we understand the source of love, and the one who sustains it, then we can sing like Michael Jackson did once. “I just can’t stop loving you. I just can’t stop loving. And if I stop, then tell me just what would I do? I just can’t stop loving you.”